60 stitches!

Ughhhhh.... Just cast off my scarf. I somehow or another managed to get to 60 stitches from 40 stitches. It's waaaay too wide. The long part is the WIDTH by the way. Usually scarfs are only 15-20 stitches wide. If only I could continue from the length.

Restart!

Gay blue yarn

Going to restart! Saw same awesome two-colour designs that seems quite simple to do. Learnt how to do the continental style of stitching :) Holding the string in the left hand instead of the right, it's a lot more convenient and faster. Also learnt another way of casting on, the "long string" method which involves only using fingers.

Damn that the shop at Centrum doesn't restock. I WANT WHITE/GREY YARN. WTF ): Their stock is exactly the same as the last time I went!!! Which is at least a week ago. I bought this gay blue yarn instead. Actually I really like the blue, but it's not very suitable for a guy who wears black leather jackets? hurhur.

How are you going to make money if you don't restock?!?! You're losing a potential customer here!!!

Sob! A potential customer who now has to Google a knitting shop. I refuse to take the tram. It's so much harder than the metro! The tram's board is so much harder to read and you've got to find another stop for the way back! Eeek. I'm going on my own so I shall stick to Metro. Furthermore I have no idea how to get to our tram stop from the metro underground passageway. LOL. Emo.

Been knitting a scarf for dummy.

learnt it via YouTube :)

This is day 3.
I'm getting better at it. Loosening the knits makes it a lot easier

Knit a Scarf?

Dummy's sensed my angst and been giving me more breathing space. We didn't tango at all one night, he said it was okay. He also hasn't been niaming me as much about my "last seen" on what's app without me replying him. What's app's last seen function is such a ... hais.

I made amends after I did that angst rant post too. Maybe I'll take a couple of screen shots and post it here for archivings sake.. or maybe not. It wasn't a big deal.

Thinking of knitting a scarf for him since he doesn't have one. The last time I tried was for Gibson and that never got anywhere. I still haven't found knitting needles and I'll need to relearn how to knit. We'll see if that scarf ever materializes. haha.. >_>

Need to find some nice letter-writing paper too.

How do normal couples not see each other every day? What do they do? What's it like? Is it better? But it's boring being home alone too. Plus it doesn't make any sense for him to commute to and fro from my house so often - so he ends up staying over.
In all my relationships I've always seen the other party everyday... sometimes to the point I get sick of them.

Loveless

Today is the first (or one of the first) times that I'd be lying if I said I love dummy.

Ironically I was so sure I still loved him dearly just a week ago on the 25th - the day after my first day in Poland where I got drunk, danced with another guy and disappointed dummy. Just last week my heart broke to pieces when I thought of dummy breaking up with me.

Today I find our Tango calls incredibly troublesome and I find him really needy. It's retarded because all we do on calls is not talk. He just stays quiet and I have to hold the stupid phone up. I don't feel like talking either because I'm busy, I have a sore throat, I already told him about my day via whats app and I'll be blogging it down for him anyway. Often times it's when I'm in the middle of a meal or when I'm walking with shopping bags. So it just creates a shit load of trouble for me. In Venice I dropped my ice-cream because I only had one free hand.
Can't he either not have Tango, just voice call Tango, actually talk when we Tango or just cut short the Tango time??? Our calls often last hours, 60% of which constitutes of us not talking, and me not even looking or holding the camera up because I'm busy.

About 24th, I forgot my Whisky weakness (I remember it as Chivas weakness - but Johnny walker is also a Chivas) got drunk and danced with a random guy. Getting drunk was the one thing he made me promise and I broke it on the first day I partied. So of course he's angry and worried and disappointed and thought of Breslin up with me. It's justified and understandable.

Though doesn't mean I still find it somewhat annoying and right now I'm feeling a little déjà vu - Jonathan syndrome. Using my-fault reasoning, a they're worried, it's for my own good blah blah blah to basically restrict me and tie me down. I'm really bad with self sacrifice and compromise. Reminded again of why I made my resolution not to have a boyfriend.

I realize he's being really nice and all, waiting up until 4am so he can Tango me. Etc etc etc. How he stayed up with me the first few days I was homesick was really sweet too.

But still.

What's wrong with my relationships/me