60 stitches!

Ughhhhh.... Just cast off my scarf. I somehow or another managed to get to 60 stitches from 40 stitches. It's waaaay too wide. The long part is the WIDTH by the way. Usually scarfs are only 15-20 stitches wide. If only I could continue from the length.

Restart!

Gay blue yarn

Going to restart! Saw same awesome two-colour designs that seems quite simple to do. Learnt how to do the continental style of stitching :) Holding the string in the left hand instead of the right, it's a lot more convenient and faster. Also learnt another way of casting on, the "long string" method which involves only using fingers.

Damn that the shop at Centrum doesn't restock. I WANT WHITE/GREY YARN. WTF ): Their stock is exactly the same as the last time I went!!! Which is at least a week ago. I bought this gay blue yarn instead. Actually I really like the blue, but it's not very suitable for a guy who wears black leather jackets? hurhur.

How are you going to make money if you don't restock?!?! You're losing a potential customer here!!!

Sob! A potential customer who now has to Google a knitting shop. I refuse to take the tram. It's so much harder than the metro! The tram's board is so much harder to read and you've got to find another stop for the way back! Eeek. I'm going on my own so I shall stick to Metro. Furthermore I have no idea how to get to our tram stop from the metro underground passageway. LOL. Emo.

Been knitting a scarf for dummy.

learnt it via YouTube :)

This is day 3.
I'm getting better at it. Loosening the knits makes it a lot easier

Knit a Scarf?

Dummy's sensed my angst and been giving me more breathing space. We didn't tango at all one night, he said it was okay. He also hasn't been niaming me as much about my "last seen" on what's app without me replying him. What's app's last seen function is such a ... hais.

I made amends after I did that angst rant post too. Maybe I'll take a couple of screen shots and post it here for archivings sake.. or maybe not. It wasn't a big deal.

Thinking of knitting a scarf for him since he doesn't have one. The last time I tried was for Gibson and that never got anywhere. I still haven't found knitting needles and I'll need to relearn how to knit. We'll see if that scarf ever materializes. haha.. >_>

Need to find some nice letter-writing paper too.

How do normal couples not see each other every day? What do they do? What's it like? Is it better? But it's boring being home alone too. Plus it doesn't make any sense for him to commute to and fro from my house so often - so he ends up staying over.
In all my relationships I've always seen the other party everyday... sometimes to the point I get sick of them.

Loveless

Today is the first (or one of the first) times that I'd be lying if I said I love dummy.

Ironically I was so sure I still loved him dearly just a week ago on the 25th - the day after my first day in Poland where I got drunk, danced with another guy and disappointed dummy. Just last week my heart broke to pieces when I thought of dummy breaking up with me.

Today I find our Tango calls incredibly troublesome and I find him really needy. It's retarded because all we do on calls is not talk. He just stays quiet and I have to hold the stupid phone up. I don't feel like talking either because I'm busy, I have a sore throat, I already told him about my day via whats app and I'll be blogging it down for him anyway. Often times it's when I'm in the middle of a meal or when I'm walking with shopping bags. So it just creates a shit load of trouble for me. In Venice I dropped my ice-cream because I only had one free hand.
Can't he either not have Tango, just voice call Tango, actually talk when we Tango or just cut short the Tango time??? Our calls often last hours, 60% of which constitutes of us not talking, and me not even looking or holding the camera up because I'm busy.

About 24th, I forgot my Whisky weakness (I remember it as Chivas weakness - but Johnny walker is also a Chivas) got drunk and danced with a random guy. Getting drunk was the one thing he made me promise and I broke it on the first day I partied. So of course he's angry and worried and disappointed and thought of Breslin up with me. It's justified and understandable.

Though doesn't mean I still find it somewhat annoying and right now I'm feeling a little déjà vu - Jonathan syndrome. Using my-fault reasoning, a they're worried, it's for my own good blah blah blah to basically restrict me and tie me down. I'm really bad with self sacrifice and compromise. Reminded again of why I made my resolution not to have a boyfriend.

I realize he's being really nice and all, waiting up until 4am so he can Tango me. Etc etc etc. How he stayed up with me the first few days I was homesick was really sweet too.

But still.

What's wrong with my relationships/me

It began with 5-10

Hey guys, I want you to know what's happening with my life, so here's another blog.

New guy, new blog.

His name is Jun Wei. He is 18. Lizard, don't judge me!!!

Let's start from the very first time I met him.

He's a friend of my (company) childhood friend, lele's poly classmate. I first saw him at the start of the year when lele invited me down to his birthday party at Rebel/Zirca right after the company D&D. Nothing much with him but this would be the first time I danced.. grinded.. lele and the first time I puked. I was too high, and he's too used to girls me thinks... but I'm side tracking, yes.

That day I also called down DBS Chris, who was to fly the next day, and partied with him - clean dancing, no touching. Oh and I nearly forgot, I broke up with Jon the next day because I realized I felt no guilt at all.

Then comes CNY, lele and I went down to Powerhouse to find his friends cause he owed me a clubbing session. It was Trance music. I hate trance. Plus we were both tired from the yatch trip the day before, so we just stayed around the tables passively. Lele's friends were playing 5-10, and eventually Jun Wei came to play 5-10 with me. I obligied. And I lost. You guys know how I hate losing. And how vengeful I am. Especially since I've never lost at 5-10 before. This probably started everything.

===

2nd March, Friday

I went down to Phuture with Quan (friendzone clubber friend) and his friends. While walking to the bridge, I noticed this guy who was soooooo familiar, but i couldn't put my finger on it. I knew he found me familiar too because he was staring at me too. I couldn't recall who, so I just assumed it was some dude I see around NUS and broke the stare. That is, until he called out "Hey, it's Eunice!". Learning from Lizard, I flashed a smile and went "Ohhhh! Hiiii! Hi!" and after chatting a while, he said "Lele's behind." and my brain went - ooh! He's the 5-10 guy!

Sooo............. drank with Quan. Phuture's dancefloor. Trance music. Bored. Decided I might as well have my rematch before the nice music starts. Went to find lele. Played 5-10... WITH A DAMN AK-47 (go google what it's made of >_>). They originally wanted GRAVEYARD, I wanted JAEGGAR BOMB. The shit.

Me: 5-10!
Jw: Ok, what drink? Ak47? (I took that at Lele's bday)

Me: Don't want. Jaegger ba.

Lele: Aiya! Graveyard la! (Such an awesome childhood friend I have)

Me: !!! NOOOO! DON'T GRAVEYARD!

Lele: Ignore her, just order graveyard.

Jw: ok

Me: !!! OKOK AK47 OK?

So yes... I wasn't intending to order Ak47 at all that night because I'd suffered memory loss just last Wednesday, so I was a little frightened of alcohol. I even messaged Quan to bring my drink cupon over and said in my sms that I didn't want Ak47. However, they were in maximum party mode because it was the start of their holidays.

------------SMS EXTRACT

Me: You have my drink cupon?

Quan: Ya, why?

Me: I probably need a drink but i dont want Ak47, so might as well get free housepour.

Me: Zzz can't find my friends.

Quan: Come back in.

Me: In. At the bar closer to zouk.

Quan: I'm at the same place.

Me: Fml. I getting ak47 for 5-10.

-----------

ho hum. Needless to say, I lost and I got high. Not to mention, his other friend, Calvin, challenged me once too.. WITH GRAVEYARD. This would be the first time I took more than just a tasting sip of the drink. I switched dancing between Lele and JunWei that night. Yes I am aware that sounds extremely slutty. It's also somewhat screwed that they're both bestfriends and I was having the time of my life. In my defence, I didn't go to them, they came to me and although we body-to-body, no one was hanky-pankying with their hands. No kissing or hugging either. I just like dancing. YES MY LOGIC IS SCREWED.

I blame it on 9 months of containment exploding out the moment I touched my freedom.

I was trying to 'play'. You guys know what happened the last time I tried. Lele was childhood friendzoned so it didn't feel weird, junwei was some random guy who was my type and he was younger so whatever. Apparently, my type = Tobias. Watched "This Means War"? I like the blue-eyed American, personality wise.

Earlier convo:
JunWei: What's your number?

Me: *gives*

JunWei: !! I already have your number. (iphone shows the name if the number is registered) How can I have your number and you not have mine?

Me: ??? *passes him my phone* (because I still can't remember his name, so I didn't know where on the contactlist to check. LOL)

JunWei: *Found his name: "Jun Wei 5-10"* 5-10? Is that all I am to you?

Me: Ok fine. *Edits in "Lele's friend"* Happy?

I reallllly suck at being a player. That was probably a good opportunity to flirt.

===

3rd March, Saturday.

Originally at Phuture with Ruby (clubbing girlfriend) and her friend.

Sidetrack! OMG. My reputation is the pits. At the queue this happened:

Bouncer: Hi, long time no see.

Ruby: (she's friends with the bouncer) Haha hey!

Bouncer: Is that your cousin? (Me)
Ruby: No, why? Do we look alike?

Bouncer: The last time she was dancing on the podium with that guy. *sly grin*

Me: @_________@ PLEASE FORGET THAT. [surprised squealing sounds]

I danced with a guy on Memory-Loss-Wedenesday. That would be the first guy after Tobias. I regret! He's younger than me and not cute. At least if i had to dane with a guy after getting too high, let him be cute!

Anyway, basically I got bored because there were no cute guys in phuture and I was more interested in the option of dancing with my childhood friend (he's pretty good) and Junwei. Btw, my childhood friend isn't ugly either. So when I found out they were going down to powerhouse, I cabbed down.

Exiting powerhouse:

Bouncer: Dance with another guy tonight?

Me: T____T [more random squealing sounds]

Powerhouse.

Made friends with a random group of girls while queuing, shook one of their hands cause I found out it was her birthday. I'm a lot more comfortable with talking to random girls now, especially in a club setting.

Jw came out to wait for me while I was in the queue.

Got lele a graveyard the moment I got in... hurhur vengence.

5-10 with JunWei. Lost. Rematched Calvin (the guy who graveyarded me), won overall - but he gave me chances.

Learnt tetonic from JunWei on the dancefloor, and got carried up onto the podium by him too. I think my skirt rolled up when he did that, hope no one saw. T_T I was high enough to just try dancing the tetonic in front of him.. I'm pretty sure I sucked really bad at it, never been good at dancing. Was not high enough to participate in the dance battle JunWei pushed me into. Got called a dirty dancer by junwei and Calvin.. I don't know when I started dancing "dirty", trying to fix this now.

They were taking pictures, and asked me to take a photo with Junwei.

Me: No. I know I cui. (Talking to Calvin)

Junwei: If you cui then no one in this club is pretty.

Me: *Pretend I didn't hear* (My standard reaction when I don't know what to do)

===

4th March, Sunday

I messaged JunWei the next day asking him out to study Japanese with me. I had midterms coming up on Thursday. His exams were already over though, so technically he has no reason to study jap with me, I only asked him because:
1. I couldn't find another study partner for Sunday anyway, I tried like 6 people.
2. He took Jap before, the same level I'm taking now
3. He was kinda my type
4. I wanted to try playing (again)

After 3 chapters at 313, we went to cine for pool, then we had dinner and my lime sherbert at Swensens! It was 10pm by then. Then he said "I want to drink beer!", I obliged "Oh, okay sure, where?".

That would be my 2nd time at a Thai Disco. (First was on Thursday, 1st March - yes I partied 4days nonstop.) Thai Disco girls are amazingly pretty and apparently they sell lolipops in the guy's toilet. 5-10 with 2 jugs of beer and got high again, plus I re-entered party mode so we stayed out till 6am although his intention was 2am. Needless to say I knocked out in Monday's class, yes I sleep in school on a regular basis now.

Made friends with 2 uncles at MBK and 5-10 one of them too - that's where we got our lollipops from. He suddenly dumped a whole stash on our table and told us to pick. Haha. I choose coke. Talk about not taking candy from strangers.

One of the uncles asked him if we were dating.

Him to me: "He asked if we're dating"
Me to the Uncle: "No"
Him to me: /shocked expression
Me to Him: "REALLY WHAT!"

I really think I have no talent to be a player.

We jumped in between 3-4 thai discos that night, but everywhere was pretty clean and tame. I brought him to Naughty Girl, Thursday's dirty thai disco club, but even that was dead. Another one, FHM plays Tom & Jerry on its TV.. LOL. We studied a little jap there. So far I've studied in pubs, clubs and thai discos... guess I'm left with host clubs.

===

5-6th March, Monday&Tuesday

Nothing much happened on Mon and Tue, we didn't meet and I was cool with that. I wasn't looking for a relationship neither did I want to stick to just one guy. I wanted a few good looking male friends and my singlehood. My new year's resolution is to remain single. Cute guy opportunities: orientation camp, host clubs when karen comes back, SEP to poland. That was the plan.

I forgot to mention, but he's EVERGREEN. And HAS NEVER KISSED A GIRL BEFORE. or HAD AN EX BEFORE. I laughed for at least 20 minutes after I found out. Totally couldn't tell from how at-home he was in clubs, but if you think about it, he's only been clubbing 2 months (1993 December baby)... So young. I classified him as a level 1 green snail. I didn't consider the fact that a green snail could be very experienced, that there might exist an evergreen player who's never kissed before.

I did call him to talk to him on Mon and Tue. He's smooth.

Him: You said I only have entertainment value right?

Me: Yup.

Him: So anyone also can right?

Me: Yup.

Him: So why me?

Me: *silence*

My first thought was "because I like you"
then my second thought was "Fuck i can't say that"
then "Fuck i can't think of a reply"
then "Shit I've been silent for too long"

and he didn't have any qualms about pointing it out

Him: "Why are you so quiet? Stunned?

I got owned by a green snail. Why is it that an evergreen is better at this than me?? When I'm the one with 2 ex-es and a fling? And had a few kisses?? And I'm older???

===

7th March, Wednesday

Was studying with Wei Chenn (another guy I found not half-bad, made friends with him a week earlier) when Jun Wei messaged me for a movie, he was with lele at ps. I wasn't done studying, and didn't want to commit to any guy, so I asked for time and movie.

He said The Devil Inside Me.
I said HAVE FUN :D

Then I went back to do my work. He was DAMN LUCKY. My phone was on dead-silent, not even vibration, but my phone wasn't placed face-down like usual. So I saw the incoming call.he asked me go down movie again, I told him I don't watch horror movies so he asked what movie I wanted to watch.

Me: The movie I want to watch is a girl's movie.

JW: Just say

Me: "LOL" the movie, miley cirus.

JW: Ok, then I watch LOL with you.

Me: Then lele lei??

JW: He and his friend can go watch The Devil Inside, we go watch "LOL".

Studying VS Movie - with a guy my type to top it off... the winner was obvious.
I left after dinner with them because I'd arranged to study with Wei Chenn at 10pm. Did so on purpose to give myself an exit excuse so I wouldn't end up spending too much time with JunWei. Dead serious about my resolution to stay single, and to enjoy the perks of being single.

===

8th March, Thursday

Didn't meet him today. Went to KTV with my Juniors instead and then met up with Mervyn (friendzone) at night. Had plans to meet Ruby at Avalon, but Merv was so slow I lost my party mode and entired nua-mode. So over supper at Holland, I told him all about the Green Snail. I am now a Cooger. That arse! When he was 19 and had a girl 2 years older, it was "Cool". I also confided in him about dirty dancing and he admitted that I started dancing a little dirtier when I got my free-pass from Jon, he hasn't clubbed with me in a long time.

Me: Merv, you've got to teach me not to dance dirty.

Merv: No, I'll teach you how to dance dirtier.

Me: Thanksssss.

After that we went to my place to chill and practiced this salsa move for use on hitting on girls.

Me: I think I'll forget how to do this.

Merv: Why are you even learning it? You're the girl.

Me: ... good point.

===

9th March, Friday.

Rebel with JunWei.

Met up with him after school to go shopping for Calvin's birthday present. Our second movie was "The Lorax" - Nice show! At Clark Quey, we met up with YY (one of the girls in their clique) and killed time at the Bar next to Rebel. I got high on a freaking barcadi breezer (5%).

He didn't miss the chance to get me to take photos with him.

Me: *Quality check* Not nice! I hate my fringe! I just cut it yesterday!
Him: Then take again?

Me: Arghhh really not nice. I prefer my fringe like this *scrolls to an image*

Him: *tries to whatsapp it to himself*

Me: !!! *snatches*

Him: Or you rather I put this photo (one of our shots together) as my wallpaper?

Me: *silence - turns to yy* Take photo with me!

This is what? Less than a week since bumping into him at phuture? FAST. I never put any of my exes as my wallpaper, and it took them till after we were official to do that.

JW: Tomorrow like this also ok?

Me: Like what?

JW: Hold hands. (We were holding hands in the club)

Me: NO!

JW: Why??

Me: PAI SEH. (I was high enough to be bluntly honest)

He was my dance partner again.

Marcus (another friend of theirs): More more! Kiss Kiss!

Me: *shakes head and wags finger at marcus* No

JW darted in and kissed me, I'm not sure if I avoided him quick enough... Reminds me of the very first guy I danced with. Was pretty badly affected by it. JW noticed and asked apologetically "Too much?". I just nodded.

I think I'm weird. I have no qualms with grinding guys but I can't take a peck on the lips.

Cabbed home with Marcus and JunWei, they thought I was sleeping:

JW: She's so cute. She speaks Jap even when she's drunk.

JW: You la! Ask me to kiss her! You should have known I'd have to guts to do it!

I feel embarrassed telling you guys so much. Maybe I won't tell you guys about this blog.. hurhur

===

10th March, Saturday.
Calvin's Birthday

Morning, woke up prematurely due to alcohol in the blood:

Me: I don't know what to wear! Got to go to school, meet you at orchard, then got to go clubbing.

Him: Then tomorrow after dinner we can go back to your place first for you to change. I don't mind.

BLUNT. FAST. That would be the first time he came over to my place. I forgot it was a Saturday, so he's also already been introduced to all my relatives. Jon and Gibson were only introduced after we became official.

I also brought up the topic,
Me: How could you do that last night!
Him: Do what?
Me: What Marcus said
Him: Oh sorry...
Me: You were the one who said you wanted your first kiss to me romantic!!!
Him: Ok, I'll plan something next time...

When I met up with him at cine, he gave me his hand palms up.

Me: ?? What?

Him: What we said last night.

Me: @_@ *takes his hand*

Him: So what do you want to eat?

Me: uh... uh... *mind blanking out, too flustered by the hand hold*

Seriously, I feel like I'm the evergreen.

It was Dj Krazzie's birthday celebration that night as well, had to queue for an hour outside waiting for the club to open. Once we got our table, more rounds of 5-10s this time with another girl and her guy.

Her guy: Is Jun Wei your boyfriend?
Me: I dunno!

Yes, I was a little high already so my answers were blunt and honest. That guy seemed too interested in me for someone else's boyfriend, but I just brushed it off because they were obviously holding hands.

Two of the girls tried to teach me how not to dirty dance. Not moving my shoulders is next to impossible. At this point, Her Guy came up to me and did the "I try dancing with you?" gesture. I don't really know why I obliged, but I did for about 10 seconds of grinding. Then I moved away.

Her Guy: You can what
Me: Dirty dancing I know. *waves hand dismissively without looking back* I'm trying to learn not to dirty dance.

And this reminds me of the random guy I danced with at the time of Tobias. All that mattered was the dancing, the guy was irrelevant. Jun wei's really different in this aspect, he said he noticed and he wasn't happy so he cut in, but he didn't tell me about this until I mentioned that I think I grinded Her Guy. Even after he told me, he didn't seem angry with me nor was he accusatory towards me. This makes me really happy... I realize I'm not the kind of girl that needs/likes her guy to get jealous.

===

Sunday

Studied at Delia's place. Met up with him at Tampenese mall for dinner, but it was already 9.30pm and everything was closing. So we ended up at Orchard Plaza's hawker for dinner again.

That's when I saw the Lee-Min-Ho guy, some really seriously hot dude was sitting 2 tables away. I kept giggling and grinning. I was so afriad to tell JW that the reason I couldn't help smiling really really happily was because of another guy. I thought he'd get angry, or jealous. When I eventually told him, he actually said "Next time tell me (so I can see)!". Instead of getting angry, we started discussing about the guy's hairstyle, body and age. Totally different from what I expected would happen.

Dropped by Holland village for more ice cream, after which he asked if there was any pool parlors in the area. I said there wasn't but that my house had a table. That would be the first time he stayed over at my place - in the guest room with dad's permission.

===
Monday

He followed me to NUS, and tried to hug me.. ON CAMPUS. No way.

Told NX about him after Corp Accounting midterms.

Kind of forgot the sequences already but yes..

He kissed me in bed, now I know what Gibson meant by "Flash Bang". I just stunned. He darted in when I closed my eyes for a while, after all my effort to make sure our lips weren't near each other. He's not a very good kisser... oops. The way he kisses is perhaps the best evidence I have that he's not lying about being evergreen. He should go kiss some other girls and learn how to kiss better, cause I don't think I'm very good at it either and I need to be taught as well. haha.
It was morning when he kissed me, forgot why he stayed over that day again - still in the guest room of course. It was after a Wednesday night, probably clubbed? Yeah, I remember skipping Thursday's morning lesson because I wanted to sleep in.

Him: Your heart's beating so fast
Me: YOUR fault! (my face was buried in the pillow at this point in time)

===

Thursday

Followed me to school again on Thursday, we each grabbed a sandwich and split. I don't think any of my classmates saw us together. Was super awake on Thursday, skipping corporate reporting was a wise choice.

Had plans to meet up with him after school again, I went down to Tamp.

The romanticist side of him will keep me coming back for more.
I was waiting for him at Tamp One, about to lean on the bar to slack when his arms circled me from behind. I froze for a moment out of surprise, but I think I'm getting used to his antics already because after that I just relaxed. I saw two very amused looking secondary sch kids.

At night when he left my house by taxi, he asked for a good night kiss - which obviously did not happen. After he got on the cab and I came back to my room, I saw my phone ringing.

"I miss you already
I feel like turning back now
I don't feel like going to bangkok
(Me: don't be crazy. Him: Ya I know, I won't do that)
What have I gotten myself into"

haha that was kinda cute.

We also messaged the next morning, since his flight and my class happen to be the same timing. He called right after I sms-ed him.

How shall I say this? He sounds needy, but at the same time, he's not really. Which is good, because I want attention.. but I don't want what I can have. Such a dilemma.

I was dying missing him on Friday
and Saturday. Lying in bed bored with nothing to do, that's when the bulk of this post was typed out.

But I recovered from my flu by Sunday, so I had my tax meeting and a study date with Wei Cheng. Plus he'd messaged me Saturday night I think, so I didn't miss him so much anymore.

Here's hoping I don't get bored of him too quick, and that I don't get burned by him too badly either. Tsk, can't have everything I want when everything I want is so contradictory - or basically, everything that I can't have.